Ready to Spill

I don't know why, but I just feel like crying today. Not in a bad way, per say, but I still feel crying. Like right now, I'm watching the last scene of Forrest Gump. I almost lost it. I don't feel like sobbing, just crying a bit. Earlier today at XA I almost cried a bit too because I was trying to write my "student perspective" piece. Lately I have just felt so overwhelmed. Student teaching is so much work! erg. I feel like it sucks all my energy and brain power and by the time I get to work or homework or XA I have nothing left to give. It is making everything else I do so much more difficult. I am getting frustrated with myself so much easier then I used to.

I haven't had a good cry in a while... but I feel it coming.

I'm just doing way too much right now. I know I have said this all before, but it is my everyday. Everyday I stop and say, "Wow. I am trying to do way way too much today." I am over booking myself. I have not given myself any time to work out in two months! AAHH!! I am so frustrated and gross feeling that it is bringing me down. I have to make a change. I have got to. I need to start telling people no. No, I can't babysit for you until midnight on a Thursday night. I have to get up at 5:45a. I need to sleep. No, I can't drive to Sedona I need some time to sit and think. No. Leanna said I can't help everyone. Well why not?! Who am I to say who does and doesn't deserve my help?!

But it's like I tell the mothers that I babysit for. They need to take care of themselves. They need to make time for their friendships and to pamper themselves. If they don't they will melt down and won't be as effective for there families. I feel like I am getting to that point. I am neglecting myself and if I keep it up much longer, I won't be of any help to anyone!

I need to figure out a new schedule for myself. I need include several things in the schedule...
-Time for God (reading the Word, biblestudy, prayer, XA, and NCA)
-Time to work out... even 30min each day would be awesome an hour would be perfect
-Time to work. I like working I can't just stop.
-Time for reading.
-Time to do absolutely nothing. I never do nothing. I need to do more nothing. I think it would be good for me.