So Much To Do... So Little Time

I'm exhausted. But I am going to stay up a few more minutes and write this anyway. I don't know why I'm on such a journaling kick right now. I have like three going. Perhaps because I've been so busy this semester I want to make sure that I chronical it in case I've forgotten anything.

Student teaching is hard. It is very hard. I know I am doing a good job, but it is hard. I feel like I have to give 200% all the time. I've taken on so much at the school that I am wondering how long I can maintain it. Plus, I haven't even started writing the lessons for all the classes. I feel like I am doing so much already, but next week I will be doing even more. Is this what it will be like when I'm a "real" teacher?

I wonder all the time if I am too mean, if I yell too much, or if I'm just not fun. It's hard to tell. A lot of the I yell because everyone is across the field. But do I have to talk so short? I think so. I tried to light and witty at first. But when you have a class of 20 8th graders and 10 are considered special ed, you have to change things up a bit. You have to change your pace. Well I've changed mine, and I'me hoping it was the right thing to do. I'm hoping I am still being true to myself and my teaching style. I love my co-op. She is a great, motivated, hard working teacher (with 3 master's! How many PE teachers do you know of that have 3 master's degrees?!). I look up to her a lot, but I want to make sure that I am me, and not her. I should work on that.

Tomorrow is Fitness day. I created a potentially cool relay thing. The hard part about being a new teacher is that I have no way of knowing how long certain tasks will last. Did I plan enough stations? Did I make the stations too hard? Or were they not hard enough? Will the students have fun? Will they cheer eachother on? Or will they be mean to each other? I have no way of knowing. I will show my co-op in the morning and she will give me some feed back, but really there is no way for me to know. I'll let you know how it goes.

I haven't heard anything back from Manuel or Reme yet. Keep your fingers crossed for good news. Sam has decided she is going to visit me in Madrid in May. I'm really excited for her. I wish I could travel with her... Actually there is no real reason why I couldn't. She wants to travel Europe in May. I'm not planning to travel until June. I suppose I could go earlier and have someone to go with. But I like the idea of not having a schedule and just hopping from here to there whenever the wind takes me. I'll have to think about that one...

I'm nodding off... but I have so much on my mind! I talked to Greg today. He is doing good. Working. Clean. He sounds happy. Which makes me happy. I really hope that we can be friends. I know it sounds so cliche! But honestly, I care about him and want to stay a part of his life. I want him to know that I am here to encourage him and cheer him on. This weekend we may go mountain biking with his cousin and uncle. I really hope we do. I haven't had a good workout in ages. And it would be good to do something together. (Besides eat or watch tv)

Alright... that is all I've got. I'm off to bed.

Hasta.