It has been almost two weeks since I last heard from Manuel and Reme. I sent them an email today. It said that if they already found another au pair I would like to know. I'm pretty sure they have blown me off. And that is fine! I just wanted to know. So hopefully they will write me back and let me know what's up. I've already started contacting more families. Some of them look promising too. I've decided to open up my options by considering Ireland, the UK, Germany, France and several other European countries. By looking at more families then just those in Spain, I will increase my chances of finding a good family.
Student teaching has been nuts. This week has been crazy. I never realized how much work it was going to be. I had to write four lesson plans every day. It may not seem like much, but when you throw that on top of work and not enough sleep, it adds up. I've been swamped. I finally realized that I can't work as much as I want right now. Working 25 hours a week on top of teaching from 7-3p M-F just isn't going to work. But I love making money! and I love supporting myself! and I love being there to help the families I work for! Stupid sleep. If I didn't need so much sleep I would be able to do it all!
This past weekend was interesting. I met Greg at Uptown Billiards. We played pool, had a beer, and listened to a celtic band. It was fun. We got to talk a bit too. I finally asked him the question I've wanted to since I found out he was using over the summer. I asked, "Did you use while we were together?" He did. Right around the time that I first moved out (for a week) he started using again. I'm pretty bummed. I believe in him so much that I just don't understand how he could do that. I told him in our first month of dating when he told me that he had been an addict. I told him that I would not date a user and that I would break up with him if he chose to use. At least I kept my word. I broke up with him. Even though at the time I didn't know he was a drug user. It sucks.
But, I'm ok. I'm good. I still care a ton about him and want to be there for him. He is my friend. And despite the fact that he is a user, he is still my friend. I am going to be there for him. I've never been good friends with a drug addict, till now. And I know he will probably burn this bridge at some point... but for now, I am here for him. I hope he is there for me... but when was he? Was he there for me? I'm not sure... I honestly don't really care. I don't turn to him for support. I have support elsewhere and I'm ok with that. I want to be his support. He needs this. At least I think he needs this. I think he needs someone to encourage him and push him to do great things with his life. I don't want him to settle for less. He could be so much. I hope he will be. We shall see.
Tomorrow I am going to the library after teaching. I am going to take a look at all the CDs and download all the ones I like into my iTunes. I know, exciting right? After my fun filled library time I head off to XA (my youth group). Actually.. maybe I will go donate plasma... We'll see.
Well that's all I've got for right now.
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1 comment:
Reading yours posts, it amazes me how much you've grown up. I mean, you were always way more mature than I was, and always held yourself together better than I did, but it's just incredible to know how much you've grown. It sounds like you've been through a lot in the last few years, and are as yet about to go through a lot more. I encourage you to keep writing, keep praying, and just do what you need to do for you: the people that love you will follow you anywhere you go, and the ones that don't will be great memories.
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