Ambition

Over the last couple weeks (months really...) I've been thinking a lot about my job situation and my dissatisfaction with it. I've pretty much given up hope that I'll find a teaching job for next year. Over the last week or so I've been applying for admin and receptionist positions. I even applied to QFC!

One of the jobs I applied for had this to say:

Heather,

Received your application letter and resume. Appreciate you interest. We will be interview top candidates in the near future. Sincerely, Principal

You read it right. She called me Heather. I am not a Heather. I won't be holding my breathe for a call back from her... she didn't even care enough to shoot me down with the correct name!

I applied for a receptionist position through Craigslist today. I was surprised when I got such a quick response:

Thank you for your resume regarding our receptionist position.

We have interviewed several applicants for this position, and we have made an offer of employment at this time to one of those applicants.

I will, however, keep your resume on file for six months in case we have another position that meets your qualifications.

Thanks again.

Obviously this isn't the job for me and so I replied with:

Thank you very much for quickly responding to my resume. I am a bit confused though because the craigslist ad to which I am responding was posted today. If the position has been filled, why post the ad. If you are simply not interested in hiring me or I am not qualified that information would be much more helpful to me in my search for a job.

Thank you again for getting back to me so quickly. Have a wonderful weekend.

To which the hiring administrator responded:

We've had ads in several locations, and have interviewed over 25 applicants! Your experience is good, but in today's job market, it's more a matter of "being in the right place at the right time."


I was pretty annoyed by this. If you've interview over 25 applicants why would you post another craigslist ad? That's when it occurred to me (and perhaps I'm slow) but I'm not competitive enough for the current market. My experience is good, but not great. My resume is good, but not great. I don't stand out in a pack of 100. Of course I would do a great job at whatever I was hired to do, but so would nearly every other person out there looking for work right now. I don't have the administrative job experience to land a great job, not when there are plenty of other applicants who have been at it way longer than I have. And compared to experienced teachers, my few semesters of practicum work and substituting just can't hold a candle.

So what am I to do? I need to step it up, that's what. While thinking of how it occurred to me that I am not a very ambitious person. I may have been at a time in my life, but I do not feel that way now.

Pronunciation:

\am-ˈbi-shən\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle English, from Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin ambition-, ambitio, literally, act of soliciting for votes, from ambire

1 a: an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power b: desire to achieve a particular end

I have never pictured myself being the best or the most powerful. I've wanted to teach and coach middle or high school. I've thought about coaching or teaching at the college level, but that never really interested me. That is primarily because I really enjoy middle and high school aged kids but I think it also has to do with my own confidence in what I know. If I were to coach at the college level I would really have to know what I was talking about. Obviously I want to know what I'm talking about now, but that pressure isn't there.

Am I just so affraid of failure that I won't ever put myself completely out there on that limb? I never gave it my all in school. (and it showed). I didn't really ever give it all I had in track. I could have done more to be stronger and faster (and leaner) but then what would I blame a poor performance on? Only myself.

I feel like this history of self-sabatoge is following me into the workforce and I don't like it one bit. If I want a career I need to get competitive. That means I have to make myself so appealing to prospective schools that they'd have to be crazy not to hire me. I need to get certifications, national association memberships, possibly even published if I can manage it. I need to get some ambition. I need a fire under my pants. If I failed, what's the worst that could happen? I'd just end up right here where I am now, but with a better looking resume.

I've got some work to do...

... now where are the matches for that fire?

Hazy Lazy Day

I'm not working at all today. My Google calendar says "No Events" for today. This is extremely abnormal! There aren't even any classes at the gym I feel like taking today. So I've just been hanging out at home. I've put away my laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, and done some personal training homework. But mostly I've just been hanging out online listening to music. I'm trying to enjoy a relaxing day, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job at it. Any who...

It's been so nice having Flynn back! He was only gone for two weeks, but it sure felt like a long time when I was going through it. Last night was Mexi-Monday and we had some friends over to eat tacos and play Trivial Pursuit. This was the first time we played it since buying it. It was hard! There were questions about world leaders in the 80s, random TV shows from the 90s, and some topics that were really obscure. I was surprised. I thought I would do really well and I did the worst of everyone! It was a fun evening anyway though. Next time we play Trivial Pursuit we'll have to have teams... or drink.

We don't have anything planned for tonight. We might go shopping for Father's Day, but other than that... it's anyone's guess. I'd love to walk Greenlake or Discovery Park... or even just wander around the neighborhood. Seattle has been so beautiful lately and I've been able to get outside often, so that's great!

I had a friend invite me to go to Hawaii with her today. She has a free flight that has to be redeemed by the end of August. She'd even be willing to split the cost of my ticket with me. And since she has an aunt living there we wouldn't have to pay for a place to stay. What a deal! Alas, I need to save my pennies. Flynn and I want to go to Kauai in November, I need new brakes for my truck, and if I took a trip now it should be down to visit my friends and family in Arizona. Sure would be fun to hang out in Honolulu for a weekend though. Pardon me while I day dream...

I think we are going to invite Flynn's siblings over for dinner this Friday night. He has an older brother, sister-in-law, and older sister. None of them have been to our apartment yet. Hopefully they can come, his family is a lot of fun.

Well... I suppose I ought to find something productive to do.

Dear Mandy,

I'm sorry for not blogging more often, but as you know, life happens!

Flynn got back in town today. He was out of town on a work trip for the past two weeks. It was a long two weeks. I am so happy he is back home. It had been so quiet around the apartment with him gone.

I did my best to keep busy while he was gone... I played kickball, worked as a personal trainer, went kayaking in Lake Union, had a Ladies Wine Night, had two job interviews, had dinner with Flynn's family, and spent a lot of time hanging out at home. I had a lot of fun, but I'm so happy Flynn is home.

This past week I took a bunch of classes at my gym. It felt great! I took a kick butt yoga class. I've never sweat during a yoga class before. It was fun. I also took a spin class and a pilates class. My work schedule is so crazy this summer (early mornings and evenings with nothing during the day) I have my days all to myself, so I'm going to try to take as many of those classes as I can on a regular basis.

I should take some pictures of our Magnolia apartment. I love our apartment. It is really the home I've been looking forward to for a long time! I'll try to take some pictures this week and get them posted before too long.

The other big news is that Flynn and I are going to get a dog soon! First Flynn has to get checked out by an allergist, but after he gets the all clear (fingers crossed) we'll get our very own Boston Terrier puppy. We have all the supplies we need (crate, dishes, toys, food etc) and have even puppy proofed the balconies. Now all we need is the puppy! We are hoping to get her in early July. It'll be good because I have the time during the day to make sure she can get outside and work on training. We are painfully optimistic (I know we think it'll be easier than it really will be), but it's fun.

All in all, Life is good! Yep. Life is good.